whendidigrowup

So it’s that time of the year again. You know it, I know it, we can’t ignore it anymore, its starting us right in the face. No matter how much pain it causes us – it’s time for you to send me pictures of your Christmas trees. I know, I know . . . every year I ask for your tree pictures to post here in some kind of misguided attempt to connect us somehow, to remind us of our similarities and not our differences, to show us that we are, in fact, family. And every year, as if on cue, only three people send me their photos . . . . and after all I do for you . . . .

Did I lay it on thick enough? Ok, now send your freaking pictures.

I've been listening to a lot (a lot) of Neil Young lately. My local public library has a hell of a collection of his stuff so I've been checking out more stuff by the shopping bag. And it's pretty awesome (if there was only a way to say something was more awesome than awesome). The first Neil Young CD I got, way back in the day, was Unplugged which, while more awesome than awesome, is a pretty weird disc. Checking out more of his stuff is just mind boggling - like Mr. Soul on Unplugged is the version I heard when I was 15 so it's the version I know as true. Well, the original is waaaayyyyyy different and, also, way good. The first version of I Am A Child I heard was on Live Rust and it sounds completely different than the studio version (which sounds like the Tennessee Three is playing behind him) which I just got. Thank god I heard the nine minute version of Down By the River before the four minute version from Live from Massey Hall (which also has an insulting 3 minute version of Cowgirl in the Sand, disgusted exhale sound).

Anyway, that's a long lead up to this which I think is funny.




He is absolutely no help in the kitchen. None.But the banana bread turned out very well, a'thank you.
Charlie, on the other hand, really thinks she's a big help. She'd scoop out and ball up the cookie dough, plop it down on the cookie sheet then lick her fingers clean and do it again. Eh, it all gets baked away, right?
We went to the Tracz's (Traczi?) when Bev&Maura were down from Boston. Bev spent a lot of time talking to Charlie through a moose puppet - which is pretty much par for the course. I told my favorite Bev story (well, my favorite mixed company Bev story) to a very eager audience. I'll spare you the story now but the punchline, as it were, is Bev saying, "Bought some throwing knives."

It was hysterical in the house because everyone was on baby overload. Both Maura and her (evil) twin sister Elizabeth are pregnant and well, the air was pregnant with it. Seeing a baby and playing with a kid was like letting off steam in the China Syndrome. Total baby melt down averted. Elizabeth is not actually evil, but I'm a Star Trek fan, so when you have two people who look like each other, clearly, one has to be an evil copy of the other. That's just logic. Plus, Elizabeth lives further away so I have a name calling safety zone.

You can see the moose on Chris' hand - the moose's name escapes me.

We also got to Boston for Anne and Neil's Baby shower. A majority of the woman I know, who are of childbearing age, are, in fact, bearing children. I think this is the part where our coolness falls apart. Thankfully, my awesomeness comes from a core of even greater molten awesomeness that swirls around inside me like the Earth's iron core. Scientificily named "ferroawesome." Look it up, it's totally a thing.

Anyway, we did as much weird and random stuff as you can with kids in people's belly's
I have no idea what this one was about, but Josh MAKE THIS YOUR FRAKKING CHRISTMAS CARD! Or use it to run for Italian office.
And I don't know how she pulled it off but Julia can make a shark pinata hat work. Eurofashion?Asher was there. And awesome. Ferroawesome.
Our trip to the park last Friday. You'll notice Charlie is actually pushing the cart onto someone's lawn. You will not believe how high up she got while I was trying to take this picture but hauling your kid off a front stoop while they wrangle a baby carriage up onto a porch is a small price to pay for cuteness. Ferrocuteness. (totally a thing as well.)
Intermission:






STICKS. They don't care about the holiday season. They just hate.
Pictures.
This is how I found her sleeping for her naptime. Why on the floor? She didn't know.
And this has got to be one of my most favorite pics ever. What the hell is Brianna doing? I don't know, but it totally get's the thumbs up - then and now.
Something was wrong with Mr. Frog. Something serious and medical. Charlie, Henry and Quinn were on the case.But all the Kings Horses and all the King's Men, couldn't cure whatever was vexing Mr. Frog, from the amount of shots he got I'm quessing it was super-rabies, so he had to be buried, and sat on, behind the laundry hamper.
Self- Explanatory.

So I’m finally done with the cold showers – well, lets be honest I’m married with two kids so – let me rephrase that: I’m done with the insulation related cold showers. My attic, with the exception of two access panels for the eaves on the other side of the knee walls, is totally insulated. And I only have about 20 feet of extra fluffy pink fiberglass sitting in my attic. Maybe I can get the Milo Mindbender cook book and come up with something.

But now that I’m done I never want to see that damn place again. It’s going to take a team of mules to get me back up in that goddamn attic I . . . . . . . Shane’s coming when? Crap.

I learn a lot of stuff in school. Some of it even from the teachers but a lot of what they wanted me to learn was, well, crap. Venn Diagrams (feel free to take a minute to google them cause chances are you have never used one and therefore forgotten what the hell they are)? Soviet history? Calculus? Physics? Chemistry (here’s all the normal person needs to know about chemicals READ THE INSTRUCTIONS and DON’T MIX BLEACH WITH AMMONIA and IF YOU’RE HUFFING THIS GLUE DO US ALL A FAVOR AND JUST GLUE THE BAG TO YOUR FACE – IT WILL HELP US IDENTIFY YOU AND WE FIND IT HYSTERICAL). You know what would be useful school? How to read a tape measure – I understand fractions, that’s not the problem – but I’m not counting all those little damn lines every time I need 1/16ths or 5/8ths. I finally got a tape measure that has the actual number printed on it and I started thinking, “Why don’t they all have this?” We all know which button is 1 on a phone but it still says 1 on it! My gas tank still says Unleaded Fuel Only even though they haven’t sold leaded gas since who the hell knows. Work smarter, not harder with all those stupid little dashes. That’s all I’m asking.



Back to working smarter: Back in the day the Navy wouldn’t allow women to be flight deck mechanics on aircraft carriers. Big lawsuit. The Navy says, to congress, it’s because most women can’t carry the hefty, and required, tool box around. Congress asks, you’re the Navy, can’t you afford tool boxes with wheels? Are you forty years behind Craftsman? Hell, my desk chair has locking wheels on it right now.

Just a random story. Though you might like it.


I’m watching a thing on the JFK assassination conspiracies and I have some questions. 1) What the hell is a book depository? Why have I never heard of anything like it anywhere else – were they outlawed by the Warren Commision? 2) Why does Dallas mark the spot he was shot with a big white X in the road? You don’t see a giant arrow and bullseye at Ford’s Theater. 3) What’s the point of adding onto a Caddie to make it a limo and then take off the roof? Convertibles are sporty – not a sedan with an extra six feet in it. 4) There seems to be an awful lot of Oswald footage from before the assassination. Why were people following him and filming him? And why weren’t they following him that day?


I have no idea why she was wearing this - from the look of it, neither does she.

This is what my wifes pumpkin looked like. Mine was nicely disposed of by a hoodlum on Halloween night.
My son now does stuff. Very limited but I'm teaching him astronaut names during the day. So far he hasn't picked them up. But I'll keep working at it.

A Day at the park (my wife is the one in the blue coat).

This has been stuck in my head for two days. Dianna has already yelled at me (strongly) to knock it off. Watch the whole thing. It just builds up the awesomeness.

Those of you who(m?) haven’t lived with me might not know that the thing that makes me the angriest ever – so mad that my peanut butter core of seething hate shows through my chocolate coating of sarcasm and awesomeness – are cold showers. And why wouldn’t they. Showers are, by their nature, supposed to be warm. Warm water helped un-stick whatever crusty animal blubber that might have glommed onto our old ancestors (Mike Bensley) while they huddled in their Alpine caves. It is in our structure, our core, our being to be warmed in the shower. And maybe it’s because I once suffered for years from an oft misunderstood genetic disease called Being a Teenage Boy but cold showers physically make me agitated and make me want to take it out on the world.

But now that I’m (still) insulating the attic I get to take cold showers almost every night. Thank god the wife and kids are asleep by the time I’m done cause when I step out of the shower TO WARM UP I can actually breath fire and punch through time. Which is convenient because I’ve seen all the screw up’s and pre-fixed them. It’s a real time saver.

And since I’m already worked up (I just got out of a 20 degree shower) I want to talk about an ad I saw in the paper for “Soynut Butter.”
I have long railed against soy products that pass themselves off as something else. Soy milk is not milk – it’s bean juice that has more in common with soybean oil than it does a cows udders. Soy burgers are really curd patties with painted on asbestos grill marks. But one thing I know for sure. One thing I’m positive about is this – soy is a bean not a nut. Ground soybean DOES NOT GO ON A SANDWICH WITH JELLY. Atrocious.

Ah, the attic. I was up there putting insulation up, wearing my mask so I didn’t inhale any of the Owens Corning Fiberglass Insulation, breathing my own exhales – slowly getting carbon dioxide poisoning. And the only thing I could think about is the Family Guy where they show the Pink Panther dies . . . which I tried to find a clip for but failed so here’s a not so funny transcript:

Mrs. Pink Panther: What's wrong with him doctor?
Doctor: Well it seems his lungs are completely filled with Owens Corning Fiberglass Insulation
Mrs. Pink Panther: What?! Will he be okay?
Doctor: No he won't be okay, one third of his body weight is Owens Corning Fiberglass Insulation
{Pink Panther flat lines}
Doctor: Well that's it but don't worry, He won't burn in hell thanks to all that Owens Corning Fiberglass Insulation

I also picked the warmest stretch of days in November – it was 72 yesterday – to work in the attic . . . adding heat holding Owens Corning fiberglass insulation . . . honestly, the longer I worked the hotter I got, the hotter I got, the more heat the growing amount of Owens Corning fiberglass insulation held. And, since I was working with Owens Corning fiberglass insulation, I had on pants, my safety glasses (Ol’ Foggy), long sleeves and the aforementioned breathing mask so I sweated out liquor I haven’t even drank yet. And that was just the eaves (the slanty parts . . . which is a great name for a band), knee walls and ceiling next, wheeeee!

Pictures


Hats add to the cuteness by a factor of three (that's math'en).
I totally wanted to buy this. It was an, honestly, really hard move to put it back.  But every time I got to Target I check to see if it's still there.  Who doesn't need a foot tall Rancor on they're mantle?  No one, that's who.  And for all the awesome detail to go into the rancor - the Luke with Random Life Saving Bone action figure that came with it was super cheap looking.
GA, Bob's ex-girlfriend, got me a comic signed and sketched in by one of the cartoonists.  Which moves her up to #1 on my Friend's Ex-girlfriends List - so take that Meeghan Kramer!I immediately apologize to Meeghan Kramer for that. Totally uncalled for.  Sorry where ever you are, cause you're probably volunteering somewhere or being genuinely amazed by this day.

Halloween - Can you feel the excitement?  And check out my gourd assortment!STARING CONTEST!
This is how I sleep too, except less spread out, comfortable and soundly.
Don't fret about the knife in her hand, clearly she is the Maiden of Steel.A pseudo-family shot.  Dianna's not in it because she's still working off a four game suspension for testing positive for a banned substance.  We won't judge her - we just want to know where she got it from . . . . . for the sake of research.

Sometimes I think Asher feels like he's alway about to fall. He flails like a roofer about to go over.


He's pretty strong. You can't see his feet but he's doing leg curls.


And this is what we have to deal with in the morning. It's like he's an old Chinese man centering his Chi in the park. Which, if it's true, is pretty cool.

At some point iTunes shifted from Merle Haggard to Metallica’s One. Following bass bouncing honky tonk with, well, Metallica. Charlie comes into the kitchen, where I can barely hear the music, and says, “Good songs, Daddy.”

Damn right, honey. Damn right.

I've seen Jack Goddamn Hanna feed a baby antelope from a bottle while cracking wise with Carson but I can’t feed my damn kids with one? This might be my major failing – although it is nice to know I actually have one. I swear my life would be sweet cream butter if Asher actually drank from the bottle. But like Charlie before him, he screams like the bottle is just a knife I’m sticking in his mouth (by the way, it’s not). If only I could lactate. But from like my finger or something, no one wants to see me take my shirt off. It’d be better too, when my finger was engorged with milk I could totally flip someone off and have it matter, you know? KABAM.

You need to pay attention to this story – it’s not life saving, it’s just convoluted.

We are finally putting more pictures up in our house. Looking around right now we have four pictures in the living room. Three hanging and one hiding our chargers on the mantle. I’ve been complaining about our house looking like a motel or something. But Dianna got four photos to put up in our bathroom. So to mark the spots Dianna put up four sheets crisp clean sheets of paper on the wall to mark where we might put up pictures. So as I was whizzing, as I am want to do in the bathroom, I got to thinking about what I could graffito these spanking white pages with. One page became a head shot of a weight-lifter sticking out his tongue. One is a picture of Dracula Jr.’s 117^th birthday (which is funny, cause since he’s a Jr. I drew him really young, but since Dracula’s a – spoiler alert – vampire he’s super old. Kind of like Kirsten Dunst in Interview with a Vampire and real life). One is a comic strip is this (graphic language):

So Dianna says, “I’m disturbed that you’d shoot me over cake.” And she asked who the second wife was who came in after I “shot her.”

This is a Rorschach Test if I’ve ever seen one. I’m the small circle? Really, I might be round, true, but small, hardly. I go around demanding cake? Ok, once but we were at a wedding and it was taking a long damn time. Why am I smaller than “her?” Am I allowed to have a “second wife?” IT’S CIRCLES!

On the subject of wedding cakes. I see the wedding cake sitting there smugly all dinner long. Three tiers of chocolate or vanilla cream hiding some spongy goodness and a fruit filling of some sort to make us think we’re getting essential vitamins. It’s always big. Always big enough to be photographed from the other side of the room. So then why, oh why, do I get this little sliver of cake? I’m not at a five year olds birthday party with a Wall.e hat on. I know there is plenty of cake to go around. PLENTY. Give me more cake. I’m just saying.

Also, I’m remembering that Nana said there was so much cake left over at her wedding that some got thrown away. I’m crying small fondant tears.

Here’s the last midnight doodle comic I drew on our wall.

How Proud Am I????
This wasn't even my idea . . .
Here's the Newest Attic Update:
Before:

I can't believe I want a Ford Fiesta now.  Horrible.


Other Stuff that's Funny:
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We went to Michelle and Tony's wedding last weekend. Of course that meant I had to wear a tie (I love my wife - I didn't even wear a tie to my wedding, such a  beautiful thing).They got married at a friend of Michelle's house in New Hampshire.  It was one of the greatest houses I've ever been in - it literally had everything in it that I want in my house.  It even had a faucet over the stove - no more walking across the kitchen to fill up a pot (which in my current kitchen takes less than three steps but I always seem to spill half the water all over the floor . . . and my wife is getting tired of walking into the kitchen an hour later and having to clean it up).

Of course, since Dianna was in the wedding party, Asher needed to be fed the second Michelle walked down the aisle.  Which means I got to see the wedding from inside that awesome house.  Also, Dianna had the camera in with her so all the pictures I got came from far away from my cell phone.  But you can still make out the fantastic view.We left Charlie with Shogun for that weekend.  And these are the pictures we got.Now, my daughter can smile normally, but when Los Murphy Bros are around . . . well, they're a bad influence.  I mean, look at this picture:She totally learned that from them.  We might have to make Shogun pay for some school pictures in the future . . . 

Roll Reversal:
Awake!Asleep!
And As I Said Last Week: we never really get pictures of Sandy when we're in Binghamton.  So she came down this weekend . . . and tried to feed our daughter to farm animals.
Here's a Picture I've Been Meaning to Post:
My sister took it at our cottage this summer.  This is the best of life.

So what do you do with a two and a half year old, a 3 week old, two adults and a truck with a six inch back seat?  Drive 1000 miles!  We went through Binghamton, Dundee, Buffalo and up to Canada, then back to Dundee (quickly) and into Binghamton again.  It was, really, a drive for the ages.


First Stop in Binghamton and Sandy's House!:  where we didn't take any pictures.



Then Into Dundee for Lunch With My Mom:  And some running around the yard like crazy people.
Onto Buffalo: Shane put the door to our room on, literally minutes before we needed it.  And, yes, this is just another picture of Asher sleeping but I just love how small he looks sacked out on the floor.  We were almost in Canada when we remembered we'd left him like this.

And Then, The Boarder Crossing: And I know for a fact these people didn't look at our passport or passport cards.  Remember Charlie's pic?  Scroll down if you don't I'm too lazy to look for it.  Anyway - there's no way someone can see that and not react.  Maybe they were too embarrassed to say anything?  Loop hole in National Security!

On the Beach: building sand castles
     

It was nice to see Scott and Christian . . . well, maybe more Christian but it's a package deal.  Christian would go running down the street and leap over these orange spray painted dots.  Charlie would follow behind, see a dot, stop, hop and then run over it.  She is not yet fluid grace in motion.  But by the end of the trip she was doing flips by walking up our legs.  So she got some boldness, too.
We took the kids in to look at the big boats that go through the canal in the town near the cottage.  These boats were pretty huge.  Turns out all the Ball kids used to be allowed to swim in this canal.  Which, by looking at it, is 98% diesel fuel and 2% dead insects.

It explains so much.
Then we went into town to buy things that I'm pretty sure Dianna thought up in a fever dream.  Needless to say, we did not find them.Ice Cream (or is it iced cream?)And a giant pumpkin.I just love the hat.  Also, it almost looks like they're sharing.  But we know better, don't we.Back to the beach.And Back to the cottage.  Scott came this close to a bruising.So to make up for it they took him down.  Easily, I might add.We got to see a lot of Angela and Darren (they brought the kids Tim Hurton's which I ate) but we didn't get any pictures of them.  So I'd like to point out their car.  It's the Jeep.  They wouldn't let me borrow it for the trip back.

Also, the bugs there were out of control.  As far as I can tell, all of Canada is now ruled by a consortium of bees, mosquitoes and grasshoppers.  At one point Charlie had a pear on the beach - by the time she was done the Guinness Book people were taking pictures of her Hive Beard.  I have never seen so many bugs in one place - for a while, during dusk, you'd actually have to breath insects, kind of like that red stuff Ed Harris uses in The Abyss.  

Here, I think, they're looking for the Brain Bug.  And, yes, that's a Starship Troopers reference for you who don't know.Produced Locally, Awake Occasionally.The neighbors brought horses that they rode on the beach.  Thankfully, there were no horse flop sand castles.I like this because the tv is just static.  It shows they don't care what's on tv as long as the tv's on.  Kinda like the new Leno Show.Cute.Some of the locals had a Hat Party.  Which is a fun way to say Let's Drink Till We Travel In Time.  And it turns out, and for some reason I never asked why, there are two sombreros at the cottage.  Not something you'd think you'd find in Canada.  Twice.
But speaking of drinking.  I finally got to try Jimmy Buffett's beer: Land Shark Lager.  The verdict?  I like it.  It's kind of like Corona but good.  Crisp and tastey.  I was totally ready to defend it without actually liking it, cause it's Jimmy Buffett's beer and I can bs my way around a whole lot of stuff - but I was really impressed.  It's good.

Brianna came down from the wagon to play.  I spent my time bribing her with things to get hugs.  Too bad I ate that Tim Horton's.The inevitable attack.  We all know, as parents, at some point those kids are going to take each other down. A nice picture of Shane's red shirt.
Then Back to Binghamton!
Where I was able to cram this much crap in my truck.  That's a bed, dresser, desk, bike and a weeks worth of stuff you need with two kids (you can't see the tiny goes-on-the-potty-seat, but trust me it's in there.  The headboard looked like a fin.  Which, if we don't sell the truck, I might weld another one on.

More of Asher sleeping.

Robin, Andre and Madison came to visit a while ago.  How long ago?  I forget.  A lot has happened.  There'll be more pics of lots of stuff.  Lets start here.  This is when Asher melted onto Madison.  

When I was a kid I remember putting my sister's Cabbage Patch Kids on the dash board of the car so their heads would get all soft and deformed . . . thats kinda what happened to Asher.  He turned into super soft plastic and poured himself onto Madison.  Don't worry, the Cabbage Patch Kids always snapped back into form.  And I'm sure Asher will be fine after a while, too.

At the Zoo!  We went to the zoo.
Charlie's wingspan is less than a barn owl.  Thankfully she does not look like a field mouse anymore.This is in the prairie dog exhibit.  Kids could climb in and pop their heads out so they'd be right there with the prairie dogs.  Charlie of course just used the time to scream and have it echo.  So did every other kid in there.  My hearing still hasn't recovered.
Here's a series I like to call Charlie Standing Near Stuff!  In order: Bison, bison, ducks?, alligator, alligator, pigs, some kind of cow, goats that we fed, a tiger (look hard it's laying down), peacock and turkey.  She was very suspicious of the turkey.A Snack for everyone.That lazy tiger.Lunch!Peacock!Sheeps!Snacks in the back of the truck!

And some funny sleepy pictures of Asher.

So this is the first ever photograph Charlie took. As you an see by the look on my face, and her thumb there, that it wasn't the most planned out event. Seriously, if we knew she was going to take a picture we would have taken a picture of her taking it. We're those kind of people, in case you couldn't tell. Earlier I was watching Antique Roadshow (look, I'm old, ok? Plus, PBS is poor people cable - they even show nudity from time to time so pledge now) and one of the things they had on was a Civil War era soldiers photo. So thinking of that poor bastard standing there, still as a corpse, for five minutes to get that photo it blows my mind that now, someone can grab a camera off the table, turn it on and snap a pic before their dad can grab it.

Or maybe my faster than cat-like reflexes are dulling with time. Nah, we'll go with speedy modern technology.This is my sister doing her Clinicals. She's going for her FNP (I think), Family Nurse Practitioner. I told her she looked like an honest to god professional. But not this pro or this one. Feel free to wish her luck.
Last time I posted a bunch of picture of Asher sleeping . . . . . . . . My favorites are the ones where he looks abandoned on our livingroom floor and the one that looks like he flopped out of the sky onto our ottoman.
Op! Wait!!!! Is he actually waking up?
Of course he is - it's when everyone else wants to go to sleep.

Cute: I don't know what she's hiding from. Or why she thinks she blends in with the ottoman.

Prepare to HAVE YOUR MINDS BLOWN BY CUTENESS!Yeah, the double shot melts your brain, right?


Also in Sepia. Kind of looks like a mug shot, huh? Front and side.And just a reminder, folks, that's all one plant - from the railing to the bulkhead (well, there's some flowers in front and basil to the right but everything else). Origianlly my wife had planted two but, mercifully, one died.

My dad and Joyce came up to visit and we got Chinese food. Charlie saw something with chopsticks in it and got mini-fascinated. Of course, it did not go smoothly. But it was funny as hell.One of the pictures we have up on the fridge is this one:it's my dad when he was, lets say 20, playing the guitar at our cottage (back in, lets guess 1959?).  So everytime Charlie sees the picture on the fridge she says "guitar" and lists the three people she knows who play guitar, Johnny Cash, Jimmy Buffett and Grumpy (my dad).  Not bad company dad.  So when he said he was coming up I asked him to bring the guitar and play it for her.

Of course he had some kind of throat ailment so his voice was raspy and he couldn't hit all the notes.  But, like I told him when he left, it was better than Dylan.

BooYAY!

Nana, you'll like this, since it was Sunday - I had him play Morning Has Broken.

A story with no photos (even thought I tried to take a video of it).
Jason, my brother in law, sent Charlie some sheets.  They're cute -- they have monkeys and bananas on them, perfect for a 2 year old, but maybe not so good when you're deployed in Kuwait.  Anyway, with the package he sent a bunch of water balloons.  It was a hot day here in CT so I filled up a few and went outside to let Charlie throw them at things.  We warned her that water balloons aren't supposed to hit people, which was a wasted effort since she's two and there isn't a side of a barn big enough for her to hit.  

I filled up the first one and let her throw it.  Charlie does have a blazing arm for someone that small.  She chucked that water balloon right down our walkway and WHAM . . . it flubbed like a fish down out driveway and stopped under the car.  Ok.  I backed the car up.  Grabbed the balloon and told her to throw it again.  WHAM, right into the side of the driveway where it meets out lawn (remember our lawn is 25% sticks, 6% clover, 1% grass and 99% bauxite ore) and nothing happened.  I had her throw it up as high as she could!  It came down and bounced off her head.  One more time WHAM, right into the side of the pool. 

I was starting to think they were like the candles that re-light.  An unbreakable water balloon bought by an uncle who was going to hear about it.

So I went inside, got the camera and started to film this little prank on a child.  As I hit record, the balloon slipped gently out of her hand and fell what 8 inches?  Then popped at her feet.

I just shook my head.

And I'm writing a letter to Breyers.  I got this half gallon and it was missing a good quarter inch of ice cream.  Iced cream or ice cream - do both work?  Anyway, that much ice cream at a shop would be a $4 cone!  Rip off!

It's hot here - that's all I'm saying:




The Biggest Girl: Come on! When did she learn to do this? I'm pretty sure I watch about 95% of her daily activities and this suprised the hell out of me.

Seconds later she stepped off the bike, in one swift motion, and started to walk away, leaving the bike right in the middle of our neighbor's driveway.  When I told her I wouldn't carry it, we had a nice little public tantrum.  And on walks now she stops, looks me dead in the eye, holds out her arms, "My legs are tired."  It's a shame she dropped my legs are broke cause that's too cute and I pick her up with a sense of  stubborn pride.

And if I don't pick her up????
Tears.  

Screaming.

Gnashing of teeth.

I was on the phone with my sister the other day.  We had walked to the park.  Played on the swings.  On the way back - we were two (one, two) houses away from our place when I hear, quietly, " mumble mumble tired mumble."  I said to Nana, I'll call you back after this tantrum.

After five minutes I was able to distract her by pointing out a huge spider.  

That's where the picture came from.

Sigh.


I know some of you who don't have kids are going, "You took a picture of your kid freaking out on the side walk?"  It's ok because I know you who DO have kids think it's pretty damn funny.  

A little bratty but still super cute. Dianna threw the boa off the chair moments before I hit the record button. You get Charlie's version of Telling Us the Rules. It's like she knows the rules just to throw them back in our faces.


And since his eyes are open I had to take this vid. This is what he does when he's awake. Right after the last big post, Dianna said she felt bad that all the pictures we had of him were of him asleep. Annnnnnnnnddddddd all but two of the pics we've taken since then are of him asleep. If you listen you can hear Charlie's Nightly Tantrum in the background.

I can't wait to see what Asher looks like. He looks so different than Charlie to me!

-nana

Asher                                                         Charlie

I can see some pretty striking similarities.  Pretty Striking, indeed.


And I forgot to give a special, loving shout out to Maura and Bev.  

Well, mainly Maura (sorry Bev).  At the time Charlie was born, Maura was one of the newest to enter our group of friends.  She and Bev were together but she was still considered her Maura of-Bev-and-Maura.  And she was the first of the Ithaca/Boston friends to stop and see Charlie - without the half of Bev-and-Maura that we knew.  Now, a few years later, who's the first Ithaca/Boston friend to stop by?  That's right.  Maura (with Bev this time).  

So the plan in action right now is for Dianna and I to stop with the kids (because, holy crap are these kids a lot of work).  But if, and this is a very very very very very very very very small if, if we have another.  If.  Then, Maura, please feel free to stop by any time.

And bring some beer, eh?

He weighed 8 pounds even when he was born. When we got home, I picked all the ripe cucumbers in our garden. There was more cuke than Asher. We have since tripled the cuke load and the only load from Asher comes out in the diaper (poop joke).

Holding the baby.

My mom came to visit right after Asher was born. I don't think Charlie left her side . . . ever.

Bev and Maura came down, and for reasons they will come to regret when their own kid is born, brought Charlie a bunch of princess stuff. Since she's totally my daughter, the wand has already been perminatly taken away for hitting.

CAUGHT! I hope she got a $20.  It's my sisters purse.

 
 
If this doesn't melt your heart you're a frakking rock souled monster.  Just sayin.
New family pic: 
 
More Asher pics:

Here it is the very first picture we have of our baby boy.  Asher came to meet us at 4:22 this afternoon.  

He is, was I guess, 8 pounds even.  And 19 inches long.  I know it's been a while since we've had a newborn but I'm pretty sure all that will change. 

Talk to you soon!

Today we went to Monarch Madness at the library.  While there weren't any actual butterflies there were lots of crafts . . . . for people who can color between the lines and who's dad's let them use scissors.  Since Charlie doesn't fit either of these catagories: I took her picture as a butterfly.  The first one is great just for how bad it is.  She slipped at that moment and is holding onto the butterfly cut out for support.
GLLAGGGGHHHHH!
Charlie's Old Daycare/Retirement home had a Childrens Concert.  They had clowns and balloons and a family "band."  I put band in quotes because there was a guitar, bongos and a tambourine . . . and a backing cd of an actual band.  I was hoping to see a Partidge Family kind of thing with tons of kids playing rhythm percussion of some sort.  Like a vibraslap, cabasa or a guiro (feel free to google those, or Nana, just ask dad).

Nana's New Dog: Hailey Doesn't it look like she's going with River Phoenix to look at the body of Ray Bower?
That's a good reference, and I'm sticking with it.
This is how I spent most of my days.
At this point, any kid that visits my house can have some sort of wheeled toy to play with.  We have two tricycles, a cozy coupe (two seater), that yellow push thing and an actual bike.  And, quite honestly, if it will keep them from freaking out for a while - they can take my truck.A great little game Shogun's kids taught my daughter - Entombment.  
Still cranking on the attic.  Right now, I'm making sure the floor is solidly nailed down.  I'm adding a nail anytime a board crosses a joust.  Basically, a line of nails from one side of the attic to the other every foot or so.  This way there won't be any squeaks or loose boards up there.  If we put carpet down, then find a squeaky board - ugh, that would drive me up the frakking wall.  The frakking knee wall, I guess.



I sent an email to Charlie Adlard about I post I put up on my comics blog.  He emailed me back, thanking me for the review, which is awesome.  Check out the page of his, that I own.