When Did I Grow Up?

: whendidigrowup; July 4th, 22:51

Current Music:: The Littlest Birds Sing the Prettiest Songs

Since it's July Fourth, I thought I'd post this. It's a mock Citizenship Exam. I dare you to take it. See if you'd make it into our fair country.

Let me know how you do. I got two wrong.

We all went to the Childrens Museum in West Hartford. It's hands on and full of the crap kids love. There was a Whites frog that was pretty cool. It was a maroon and looked like a tomato. There's a lynx and a bunch of snakes, lizards and owls. They were mostly found as HOUSE PETS around Hartford. I'm all for pets, you know, but a damn LYNX? Why not just buy the kids an easy start chainsaw? On the bright side, Charlie got to touch a bearded lizard - which, you know, is pretty cool.

Possibly the biggest draw for all the kids was this Jeep. It was a CJ-7 (just like mine, sigh) that was gutted (!) and the kids could pretend to drive it. Honestly, the only reason I didn't climb in was the line of four year olds behind me.

This is inside a huge sperm whale. Second biggest draw of the whole museum was a big empty space. Huge draw.

These were balloons that Shogun got for Dianna (She's 30 on Monday). I just thought it was great the way they were constantly in Dianna's way. So, did I help? No. Did I take a picture of it and laugh? Yes.

Today we went to the new Babies'R'Us that opened near us to get a few things. It's the grand opening so there were a'deals to be had. Plus, Spider-man was there.

Dianna asks, "There's a line. Do you really want to wait?"

Can anyone guess my answer?

So we stood in this line for 15 minutes. When we were just about to see Spidey, two back, they annouce Spider-man has to go on a break. Ok. I get it. I totally get it. This guys in a skin tight outfit while kids scramble about - probably being paid crap.95 an hour - I get it. But for the love of Stan can we get a count down or a frakking warning? There we were fifteen minutes in, being told we'd have to stand there for another 15 minutes while Spidey took a pee break.

Dianna asks, "Do you really want to wait?"

Woman.

Listen.

Dianna had enough time to check out, put everything in the car and take Charlie to the potty before Spidey came back.

We were not amused.

Charlie was though.

As we were leaving we saw Barbie there. A real woman dressed in a short prom dress. And fishnet stockings. I don't want to get off on a rant here, but fishnet stockings have no place in a Toys'R'Us/Babies'R'Us. This is not Spencer Gifts ok? You're supposed to be Barbie. You have a Dream House IN MALIBU, do not besmirch our idea of how you paid for that. Let's keep believeing you bought it with money from your Doctor/Astronaut/Fashion Modelling careers, ok?

Here's how we spent the Fourth:

Michelle and Tony, Dianna's old roommate and her fiancee, came over for a cookout. In the postdinner wrap up, sitting outside shooting the whatnot, Tony got a call from their realtor. The offer the put in on a house was accepted. They are the newest people to fall for the ponzi scheme that is home ownership. It's further upstate than Dianna would like (she doesn't see why they didn't go for the place across the street - commute be damned) but it sounds really nice. Plus, if they need help, it's another house to practice on that's not mine. Sweet.

The Chicken Dance is stuck in my head.

: whendidigrowup; July 1st, 22:14

Some Nice Monday Morning Pictures: I can the thrid one "Nuts to You, Daddy."

Massive Miscalculation When Making Cookies: So I didn't want to do any dishes. It happens. Dishes, in fact, are dumb. I like the idea of a trencher but that's just me. And there's no way Dianna would have let me register for tons of stale bread.

Anyway, I ran out of mixing bowls while making a double batch of cookies. So I used a blue serving bowl. After four and a half cups of flour went in, there was no room for everything else I needed to put in.

Yeah, I came about an eighth of an inch away from the stickiest counter top ever. Dianna would have expelled building material, you what I'm saying?

The only bowl I had that was big enough was the mixers bowl. Gotta love Kitchen-Aid.

I Think She Might be Ordering a Pizza: or just running up my verizon bill.

What Almost Drove Me to Drink This Week? My kitchen radiator cover. There's no way this should have taken me all damn week to strip and repaint. But I'll know better for next time, when I just shot the damn thing and live with a hole in the kitchen wall.

Down stairs, ready to strip it. I put it near the comics when I read it had a low vapor emination. I'd hate for that stuff to ruin those comics. If it there was too much vapor I'd have to more it to another part of my unventilated basement as to not hurt the books. I'm fine with it - ever since painting a closet and bursting into tears listening to Ray Charles and Willie Nelson, vapor inhilation and I have been cool.

Stripper - the chemical kind is just slightly less interesting than the other kind. Disagree? Which one will make you move faster if it's on your car? Pretty powerful, huh?

So I learned not to paint metal with latex. Only a little too late.

But after two cans of Rust-o-leum as a primer. It's back and looking awesome. I just have to say - I got carded at the Home Depot when buying the spray cans. What self-respecting vandel is going to use matte white Rust-o-leum when tagging a building? One that cares about that bridge rusting? I think not.

For some reason, sitting in the back of my truck, belted in and pretending to read kept my daughter occupied for over half an hour today.

Holy crud, this took me longer than I thought it would. Plus it's muggy.

: whendidigrowup; June 23rd, 22:25

Current Music:: WeeEEEEeelllll, you wake up in da mornin' . . . .

My Typical Day:

My Niece (and Dianna's God-Daughter): Madison came to town for three weeks. It's nice, she's helping me strip paint off the basement walls. Well, helping implies it's something she wants to do. But I'm feeding her a very sturdy diet of one loaf of bread and a turnip per work day (16 and a half hours). Here I have her cleaning the mouse cage. Don't worry, I'm pretty sure this is the one without the plague.

Lego Battle Droid:

For Father's Day: we went to the Mystic Aquarium. It's a nice hands on aquarium so we knew there'd be a lot of stuff for Charlie to do. Not that she DID any of them, but there was the option. Here were touching rays. Charlie would stick her hands in as far as she could, only to whip them out when a ray had the audacity to actually come near her. Once you stick your hands in the rays just come on up to the top.

They feel like slick velvet.

And that girl next to Charlie - fell in and was never seen again.

At the Sea Lion Show.

Beluga whales.

And of course, what Aquarium would be complete without a giant bird cage???? Actually, it was super cool. Best Hank Azaria-less bird cage I've seen. You go into this giant bird cage, full of free flying birds, and you're given a popcicle stick with bird food on it. At one point every bird took off, at head level. EVERY BIRD. Madison and I hit the deck - hunkered down, to avoid being human windsheilds. WHAP!

Charlie's favorite color is yellow.

This marsh area was pretty cool. It's kind of like one of those 3D pictures - you stare at it long enough and all of a sudden you see how many of the lilly pads are actually frogs. Tons of frogs.

Madison touching a crab (wouldn't it be better if it was just Madison and Dianna in that pic? Meaning of course that Dianna would then be the crab. Right? Like a grouch? Yeah, that'd be funny).

Shark Tank!

Charlie has a Big Girl Bed. Which is fantastic, the first step in getting her into her own stuff and out of stuff we need for the new baby. So first we get her into the crib-version of a toddler bed and get her used to sleeping without crib sides. Get her used to crawling in and out of bed on her own. Then we can transition her into a bed that Shogun's neighbors are going to give us and the crib/toddler bed becomes just a crib again. Charlie has her own bed and Awesome has a crib. Daddy, on the other hand, still has less than a quarter of HIS big boy bed but what are you gonna do?

So here's the crib.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddd here it is turned into a "toddler bed."

Anybody else just think it's a freaking THREE SIDED CRIB????? Toddler bed my left ventricle!

Just Cute:

Gross motor skills! Cutting playdough. Dianna is much braver than I am.

And look what else Dianna's super happy I found downstairs! The Creech, yeah, baby. The Creech.

(no subject)

: whendidigrowup; June 20th, 14:01

Some better photos this time, eh?

: whendidigrowup; June 17th, 10:57

Ok, so I wanted to post some nicer pictures of Charlie. I figure for every horrible (yet funny) picture I post I can put up a few that are pretty damn cute. In fact, the cute ones are pretty easy to come by.

It was Jack's 6th birthday last week. I was thinking that meant we had to vote to keep him in the family, but like the senate there are no term limits and pretty dubious elections. So Jack's still in. I think the vote was 6 yea's, no nah's and two "present." Sean and Quinn were counted as present since they were distracted by a balloon for a while.

I voted for Jack because he had a Batman cake (truth be told I was on the fence before that). With the Batman cake came a toy Batman, a Batmobile (not lifesize) and Batman masks. I'm not going to give away his secret identity but Batman just might be a 2 year old girl.

Then we went to Joshua's graduation party in Binghamton. During the trip I came up with a new rule - if you have more than one child, it's ok for me to call them all by one name. I think I called Stephen "Josh" all weekend. He seemed ok with it, responding well and following along. I think this is a strong program that we can use to move forward. Plus there's only so much room up there that is not dedicated to comics and nerdery, so if I need to meet new people, I've got to clean out some space.

Josh, the real one, had a Mexican themed party. Lots of tacos, nachos, a pinata for the little kids and, of course, stick on mustaches.

She thought it was great!

And of course the tramapoline (trabopline), which Charlie refused to bounce on. I had to bounce and hold her at the same time. Some fun. Some big, big fun. But all the cousins got to jump around and bump skull bones. Wholesome childhood fun.

Dear US Government Are You Frakking Serious?????

: whendidigrowup; June 12th, 15:43

So we got our lovely daughters Passport Card in the mail today.

Which of the THREE pictures did they chose?

This one (scroll down):

I might stop paying my taxes because of this.

My Kitchen Smells of Cardiac Arrest

: whendidigrowup; June 10th, 22:06

Went to the store to buy supplies to make over 4 dozen chocolate chip cookies.

Mixed huge vat of cookie dough.

Watched an hour and a half of Wipeout and set up my new phone.

Cooked, sheet by sheet, over 4 dozen cookies.

Felt like I accomplished something.

Now I see my fatal flaw.

Where the hell am I going to put four damn dozen chocolate chips cookies?

I'm full of horrible cookie

: whendidigrowup; June 8th, 22:15

This is the newest development in my war with my trees (and my yard, and the sticks, and the moss . . .). I cut a bunch of vines down at the beginning of spring. The vines were so thick at the base that it was practically a tree. But we cut these things off, honestly, three months ago. They are LONG DEAD.

Now. You know me. I am not slim. I weight enough to ask the Big Slide Guy if there's a weight limit. So the fact that a dead vine ONE SKINNY VINE, can hold my weight tells me we need to start building things out of vines. Those kotchky vine wreaths . . . are going in my trunk as a spare tire. They'll be Run Flats!

You can use them as unbreakable tethers on the high seas. Seat belts! The possibilities are endless. I"M GOING TO BE RICH!!!!

The local church had a little parking lot carnival. It was nice, the kids (ours and Shoguns) had a ball. I had to buy beer with coupons and felt like a Ron White punchline. But it was fun - here's the pictures.

There was a big slide. Charlie had a great time.

There were little cars. Charlie HAD to drive the yellow car. I was ok with it cause it's a SUPER TRUCK.

Bob came to visit before he goes back West. I think he's actually taking the Oregon Trail - hunting deer and trading for buffalo, the whole nine yards, maybe even an inappropriate grave stone or two. He showed up skinnier than ever with a big unkempt hair. I think he was mocking me, I'm not sure.

He came up and we did nothing. He got a typical Elliott/Ball Sunday - walks, naps and a 10:30 bed time.

We're super awesome.

Mrs. Larmouth got Charlie some pink rain boots. Charlie really likes them - mainly cause they're the only shoes she can get on and off on her own.

Her new Frog towel/wrap.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs:

Linda asked me to make some cookies for her party this weekend. She wanted some oatmeal cookies. The only non instant oatmeal we have, cause heaven forbid you cook with instant oatmeal, I mean, what separates instant oatmeal from regular oatmeal anyway what is it genetically weaken by radiation and adult contemperary or is it more likely to burst into flame and if that's the case why are we eating it not that I eat it for pete's sake it looks like something out of a Charles Dickens orphanage and we all know no one in this house can have street orchin dental work although The Artful Dodger might be an awesome nickname and I think I've gotten off track.

Anyway, we have Irish Steel Cut Oats. Which, when cooked into a cookie batter, are like slightly chewable pebbles. Of the 18 that I made, 8 aren't burnt. Of those eight, eight are horrible. Truly, truly horrible. I think I'm going to use a Paula Dean reciepe . . . . cause it calls for LARD. Yeah. That's what makes good cookies, baby!!!

UPDATE: Our compost bucket (which we use to take things out to our compost heap) is, like me, full of horrible cookie.

Questions, comments and a garden trowel in the eye.

: whendidigrowup; June 1st, 21:18

Current Music:: I'm watching Medium. GGGGOOOOO Medium.

So both my mom and my sister have asked for updates on the attic project (aka Operation Hot Sweaty Hell). Nana actually asked whether the drywall is up yet - I think I answered, good lord no. First thing I have to do is move the AC. The AC vents were just laid on the attic floor (which is tongue and groove but not nice enough to "finish" so we are going to have to put carpet up there). Obviously we can't build on the AC vents, they're just floppy tubes, we have to put them under the floor boards. But before we can even do that, I have to take up the floor boards. So here are some pics of the horrible things I've done to my attic.

With those boards up, I have to scoop out the insulation*, lay the vents between the floor jousts, put as much insulation back on top of the vents as I can, then put the floor boards back on. But to even do THAT I have to redirect the bathroom vent (the silver-y, not copper, 60's sci-fi looking tube in the second picture) that I put in two years ago.

Once I get those vents under the floor then I have to have one of the main AC trunks moved back (don't worry - someone else is doing that). Then I can have the heating done. Then have the sewer vent moved. Then I frame out the walls. Have the electrical run up. Put up dry wall. Insulate it. Have it carpeted. Paint it. Secretly despise it and curse it as I drift off to sleep.

Dianna and Charlie went to Delaware:
And this is the only picture I get all weekend.

OK.
So I said no more from my sisters wedding but, as this is my blog, I can flagrantly ignore myself. If you have any complaints take it up with management (FYI, I'm the management. All I have to do is buy myself a drink and talk myself into ignoring your complaint. Happens all the time).

Here's Charlie getting ready. Or, more accuratly, here's Charlie being gotten ready.

Nana posing.

And I just like this one of Nana and my dad.

Ok, This one I probably shouldn't post. Clearly my mom is trying to talk me out of something - she has the "Arthur, you need to . . . " face on. But it's the only time ever that I've seen my mom with a beer in her hand (that she hadn't just taken from me). I am stunned. She totally deserved it, though. Dianna, Mom and Carol Pierce spent a good chunk of time in a tiny cabin kitchen cooking, cutting, boiling and cleaning.

And doesn't she look more like a High Lifer?

And This One:

Is from Nana and Jason's time in Jamacia. It's like an Abercrombie ad (but clothed). Jason's debuting La Tigra.

This Is What I Did Today:
She looks like she's in one of my grandma's old golfing hats.

Dianna's Praying Mantis' Hatched:
And holy crap are they ugly. For some reason my wife took about a dozen pictures of the things (honestly totally horrifying) and left them for me to stumble across on the camera. Of the 4to500 we were told to expect, we got, maybe, 40. Most are in out yard, some went to school with Dianna and some when over to Shogun's yard.

Other News:
The Flowering Bush of Undetermined Species flowered this week. Of course Dianna knows what kind of bush it is but I'm guessing I'll get a stiff crotch shot if I wake her up to ask - so Flowering Buch of Undetermined Species it shall remain. Anyway, it's pink. Super-pink.

You can kind of see the pink reflection in the first picture. Our whole living room is lit up like a Disney carnival ride.

It's kinda nice.

*It's nice to see how snuggly we blew that stuff in there. It's packed.

The Future is a Ponzi Scheme

: whendidigrowup; May 28th, 22:34

This is what I've been doing all night (click the numbers).

1

2

3

4

And, yes, there probably is something more important I could be doing but . . . . .

Last of the wedding photos

: whendidigrowup; May 27th, 11:21

Holy hell. This is the last wedding photos I'm going to post - there's just so many. And it's really hard for me to see these two people so happy, so in love and so enjoying their special day without making some supersnide comments. It's like painfully hard.

Jason and the veiw from the hill.

Charlie and Dianna waiting for me to start.

Mom and dad giving away Nana.

The Wedding.

Breaking the glass. Officially the last time Jason gets to put his foot down.

Married!

Family photos

The after photos.

Nana, Jason and a Rolls Royce. I'm not sure why they had a Rolls Royce . . . it was supplied by Esperanza (where the wedding was) but since they were staying at Esperanza too, it just doesn't make sense. Good for the pictures though.

My guess is that someone drank her beer.

Jason's neice Bella and Charlie.

Dancing.

The Cake.

This Morning we went to get Charlie a passport card at the post office. Passport cards are nice and easy but you can't use them to fly out of the country. Seriously, boats and cars are ok but a plane's a no-no. Also, they're cheaper . . . . . . except when you wait until the last minute to get them. Not that I'm saying we procrastinated but I do know that the expidited fee is 700% more than the actual card.

And let me tell you what. The guy let us take three pictures. Picture number one - Charlie melting down. Picture number two - over exposed (they use like a super Polaroid). Picture number three - Charlie's not looking where she's supposed too. So guess what picture she might get on her brand new/good for five years passport card?

Melty face.

Ask to see it - it'll be fantastic.

Then we went to D&D to get Charlie some breakfast before daycare. Here's the nutricious meal I ended up feeding her. Half a bagle and a quarter of a donut. Power breakfast.

Ok, I'm off to the attic. Todays the first big test to see if I can keep all my fingers when I build uip there. Wish me luck!

Yeah, that about says it all.

: whendidigrowup; May 26th, 22:39

The name of this blog is When Did I Grow Up. I use it to point out, to the world in general, that I'm an adult with adult opinions, an adult size house and a child, who will one day grow to be an adult and take all my stuff.

But.

There was a time (SHOCKING REVELATION) when I was not so grown-up.

Just thought you'd like to know.

Great picture too.

And, yet there was more!

: whendidigrowup; May 24th, 14:16

More pics from Nana's Wedding. They're from Carl, one of Nana's friends from Boston. Here's Carl and his girlfriend/wife who's name I really should know:

See what I've been saying about the veiw? Come on! That's right off the back of the terrace where Nana and Jason got married. Pretty nice, huh? Here's more.

Another of the cake. Carl had the smarts to move so that he didn't take a picture of glowing windowed door behind the cake. You can see that it was huge and cool looking.

If you ignore Todd there, in the foreground, this is a great pic of Nana in her dress by the cake. Just totally ignore Todd - most people do anyway.

Insert funny quips here:

Nana and Carl.

Nana and Jason dancing. Not exactly Gene Kelly and Debbie Reynolds but . . .

Nana dancing with her new father -in-law, Howard.

And of course, me drinking and my Baba "talking" to me about it.

In these Hard Economic Times . . .

: whendidigrowup; May 24th, 0:36

"Lex Luthor Bailout" with Jon Hamm from Jon Hamm

</div>

More of the wedding

: whendidigrowup; May 19th, 21:34

Here are some more pictures from the wedding. I want to thank Heather for these (actually, Nana sent them to me btu Heather sent them to her so . . .) This is Heather and her husband.

This is Dianna and Angie holding up Nana's dress. I'm not sure how wedding dresses work but I imagine that seconds after this picture was taken Nana was lowered from the ceiling and sewn into the dress. It's not something I know for sure but I have a strong suspicion.

That's a great photo. Jason, you should frame that and give it to her as a gift. Just get rid of the time stamp on it. You can even pas it off as your own idea if you want.

Out on the balcony looking very blushing bride.

And you can tell why she's blushing from this picture - she's tanked!

A lot of people did a great job helping my sister and Jason this weekend but the guy Nana is hugging was extra awesome. His name is Brud and he's a chef/baker. He owned a bakery/sandwich shop and then bought and ran Seasons, the first place I took Dianna on an official "date." His food is always great. Nana asked him to do her cake. Brud had an LPGA banquet the same day. He made the cake (and some fantastic breakfast pastries) drove it up to her, then turned around to get to his real job.

So everyone who went the extra mile for them this weekend, thank you.

Charlie getting ready and me in a suit.

This was taken during the ceremony. It's dark, but you can kinda see the veiw they had. Too bad I was there to block it. Doing Nana&Jason's ceremony was probably the most nerve racking thing I've ever done. No way on Earth was I going to be the one to crap on my sister's wedding. I had to bring the A game. I also had to not weep like a baby. I think I did pretty well. Except for forgetting to tell everyone they could sit down when I started. But other than seeing half the ceremony on their feet, I think people were ok with it.

Here's the cake Brud made. The only instruction Nanagave him was "Chocolate," I think the call went like this.

What kid of Cake do you want, Nana?
-Chocolate.
How many tiers -
-Chocolate.
I can do fondant or-
-CHOCOLATE!!!!

The cake was amazingly good. Chocolate with raspberrys and creamy-ness and a chocolate straw of goodness.

Jason wore this dress uniform. I asked him why the military had those. Is it like camo if they need to infultrate some prom? Jason liked that joke. I hope you did too.

More pictures as they come in!

Seriously Half Assed

: whendidigrowup; May 18th, 21:24

So we just got back from Nana's wedding weekend bonanza. There aren't going to be any good pictures for a while - we took our camera but didn't take any pictures of note. So as soon as I start getting the photo email barrage, I'll start posting them.

Driving up to Central New York reminded me how much I love it up there. From Poughkeepsie on up it's just beautiful. I thought about taking pictures of it but, that's a little dangerous to do while driving. Plus they all came out blurry.

I got to see our new dock and was pleasently suprised. Usually when someone says fake wood, I get the heeby jeebies. But it looks great. Deeper pylons, strong constuction and it's longer. With the old dock I could stand on it, shift my weight and rock the whole thing. It did wonders for my ego, let me tell you what. I'd love to put a picture of it here but, again, I didn't take a picture of anything for two days.

I also helped dad put his sailboats in the water. I walked his sunfish down the lake about 50 yards. My feet, literally went numb. I doubt the water was in it's 40's.

Saturday, also, marked the first time I had been on a golf course in about two years. And it showed. Clearly. I played with a solid One Good Shot per Hole mentality. It was a stinker-oo. The only impressive thing about my game is that my golf bag was older than two of the people on the course. I think my feet hadn't thawed yet. That's as good an excuse as any.

Joyce and I did almost die. Jason (Jason's brother-in-law) hit a fantastic shot straight into our cart from 150 yards away. We dove out of that thing like A-Team extras. Yes, the part of the game that was probably the most fun was almost not making it out. Jason (Jason's brother in law) kept apologizing but Joyce and I thought it was too funny and just laughed right through it.

Then we went back to the place we were staying (Nana and Jason rented a property on Keuka) for a BBQslashClamBake. Everyone ate (I $%^& you not) about 38 dozen clams, 60 some hotdogs and 30(ish) burgers. Plus beers out the wazzoo. It rained on an' off but we still had a great time.

Then I ran around on Sunday up until the wedding. Wait till you see a picture of the freaking view. It was all amazing.

Anyway, here's a photo dump of the few pics we got:

Nana and her neice Bella while getting their toes done.

Nana unpacking cheese,seriously, THIS is what we have pictures of??

Mom and Charlie getting ready.

I might honestly be showing my cousin Phoebe how Spider-man's web shooters work - look at my hand. Did you even notice I was in the picture or were you just looking at Charlie?

Nana and Charlie in a heart to heart. I'm pretty sure she's telling Charlie to marry for money but I could have misheard that.

Pooped after a night of "dancing." Or as we all call it, running, spinning, jumping and squealing. Also, no shoes. Her feet were gross when we got her home.

A fuzzy muddled picture of the bride and groom posing. Check out that background folks. You'll be blown away when you see it in the day time. It really was beautiful all the way around.

bliggidy wiggidy

: whendidigrowup; May 14th, 22:09

Current Music:: A Gringo's Tale - Steve Earle

Can all my party people please say, ho?

No, no one? Really? Ok, well that doesn't put us off a great start then does it? Does it? No, no it doesn't. I guess I'll have to do something to pump up the noise. Ah, screw it - I'm just going to make more tea. I mean, I said 'please.'

I Just Want To Point Out:
The wife says to me yesterday, she says, "you haven't blogged in a while." And I says to her, it's been about a week. "A week?" she says, "it's been nine days!"

Kids these days, huh?

I remember when it took people thousands of years to create ONE blog post. But these days with the Mtv and those microwave ovens people want things quick. Just imagine if we'd always been impatient - "Cure smallpox, and hurry up already!!!!!!" Geez.

Quick Catch-up:
Last time my mom came up she brought with her, for me, a ten pound hunk of brisket. Now back in grade school, when my parents took me out to dinner, I'd get the King Size Prime Rib and, like a circus act, eat the whole thing and the baked potato. But those days are long gone (although the lingering health concerns . . . um, linger).

But when Robin & Andre, plus kids, Shogun & Keith and Dianna &myself we took care of about nine pounds of that thing in about 15 minutes. If Sean was at dinner there wouldn't even been any pan leavings. It was nice. Andre brought Ying-Ling. I drank them. For the life of me I couldn't tell you why they were here but what're you gonna do - I got roast beef and beer. Happy Time!

Have I Kvetched About My Yard Recently?
Here it is in all it's choppy glory.

And those grassy knobs there? THAT'S THE BEST PART OF MY LAWN. In addition to the moss, sand pits, clover (none that have four leafs) and sticks this year I have -

Onions. Crap.

But some people like it!

Others:

Talking a walk on a beautiful sunny day. I figure she's just like an old woman with a parasol. A ladybug looking parasol.

We went to look at the planes. I don't know, maybe the airport was closed but we didn't see anything. But stting in the bed of the truck for 20 minutes was a great way to spend all of Charlie's energy.

And this is a teaser of Nana's wedding hair. We're off tomorrow to her wedding - I'm still trying to get the ceremony right. I think Hallmark has made sentiment horridly cliche, it's almost impossible to say something heart felt that doesn't sound canned and stale (if things can get stale in a can). I've decided to spice it up with some off-color humor. F-bombs and the like.

My Day or How I Was Bored and Tried to Fill My Life with Something Other Than Food.

: whendidigrowup; May 4th, 21:25

My Day:

This is the new home for my comic collection (well, there are three boxes still upstairs and one in the livingroom) deep in the bowels of my basement. Since we're going to start working on a room upstairs we're starting to empty out the attic. I got some pallets from my old store, since our basement has flooded a time or two, to stack everything on. Lots of stuff got jammed in that attic when we moved in. Half has never been used. And the other half is baby stuff that has to come down anyway. Personally, I don't see why we don't build the room around the comics, ffffph, women, huh?

All these boxes - the paper boxes are about 40 lbs - represents at trip up, and down, two flights of stairs. So yeah. My thighs are feeling it.

On our walk. With a fire hydrant. Charlie is on the right.

I have no idea where she found this hat, or why she's wearing it. But it's cute.

Gathering puppets at the library.

Saw these via Twitter (you can follow me on Twitter). You can see them better here. It's both a two and three dimensional map of NYC. Very cool visual effect.

This might be a better view.

I posted a video a while ago, of a car racing a French jet. It was from a British car show called Top Gear. They used to show it on, maybe, the Discovery channel at 4 am (ah, newborns. What the hell am I going to do this time when I don't have cable). Here's some skeet shotting. Enjoy.

Alert

: whendidigrowup; April 30th, 21:09

Five things that Annoy(ed) me:

The New Matthew McConaughey movie. Honestly? It just makes me sad. He needs to do Reign of Fire II.

The Slogan for Bob's Dodge. "He just wants to get you a loan." But the first few times I heard it as, "He just wants to get you alone." Both are probably true 1) he is probably a pretty schrewed businessman 2) I am a saucey piece of meat*

The Slogan for Sleepy's (The Mattress Professionals) is "Sleepy's . . . for the rest of your life." Now, Rest has many meanings. Rest equals sleep or Rest can equal the remainder of. So if they're saying that it'll be the sleep of your lifetime, then we're cool. But if they're saying they'll be with you for the remainder of your days . . . well, that's just creepy.

The Crank DVD I got from the library. One of the special features? Family Friendly Audio! It says, "Enjoy the film without the usual expletives . . . should you so wish." Who would wish it to be so? Crank is rated R for Strong Violence, Sexuality, Nudity, Drug Use and Pervasive Language (LOOK OUT THERE"S LANGUAGE DEFUSED THROUGH-OUT EVERY PART OF IT!**). Who says, I like the violent action and amoral situations of Crank but I don't want to hear swear words?

A book I saw at work yesterday. Breast Feeding for the Infant. Are we going to have trouble distiguising this book from the Breast Feeding for the Elderly books? Ok, there might be a Breast Feeding for the Criminally Insane but that would definitely not be in the How To section.

What You Came To See:
We went to the park this morning. It's all of a half block away. Charlie walks most of the way. Today she stopped, put her hands in the air and, without looking at me, said, "Up." I asked her if her legs were broken. She said, "yes." It was too cute to fight so I picked her up.

The rest of the walk she was up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Each time she wanted to get back up she said, "Leg broke."

Come on!!!

*Not actually true. I'm more like a lump of 87% fat free ground chuck.
** I looked up pervasive on Dictionary.com

End of April

: whendidigrowup; April 27th, 22:46

You can tell how busy we are by how often Charlie gets a bath. On Weds, there was a water alert for Hartford (way away from us) due to "non-harmful microorganisms" in the water. Why, oh why, do we have to boil our water if there is something in it that is non-harmful? The only water I boil is for my tea. And it's not to make it "safe" it's to make is to hot to drink until a time when I don't really want it anymore.

Anyway, I put Charlie in the bath then Charlie, for no reason, freaked out. And I, for even less of a reason, freaked out. So no bath.

The next night Shane was in town from Buffalo so we all went to Sean&Christies to see which of the five kids would be the King of the Ring. Five kids, in a confined space, with only a limited number of toys. LET THE CHALLENGE BEGIN!!!!!

Actually they all did pretty well. Which was nice. But no bath.

And finally. FINALLY. On Thursday, I got to knock some crap around with a sledgehammer. I've been talking about that since, about, day two of this blog. Shane came down to help Keith put up a wall in his basement. The only obstacle? The wall that was already there. HAVE NO FEAR! (Just between you and me, if I had a football helmet, man would that have been more fun. That's how you know I'm old. I thought about a helmet). Swinging a sledge to break down a wall, it's almost like a golf swing that accomplishes something.

On a cheapie note, I now have a bunch of old two by fours to start framing my attic with. It only took me two days to get the old nails out. Shane popped up and walked us through the undertaking of putting a room up there. I figure we'll save cost by doing it ourselves. Also, it will be great for the you readers - I figure I can write down all the fantastic new curse combinations I come up with. As everyone knows, I'm famous for my fastidious nature. I'm sure nothing will go wrong. Sean asked me how I'm going to get dry wall up there. The turn at the tp of the stairs is pretty crisp. Me? I'm wondering how the hell I'm going to get a BED up there. I can sleep without walls (I'm lazy) but no way can I sleep without a bed. Unless, I ~~start~~ drink~~ing~~ heavily.

Ha! Everything's coming up Millhouse!

Also, I'm going to buy this:

While it looks like something old folks use to trim their toes, it's actually a nail puller. I have to pull up a bunch of floor boards up there in the attic (A/C is a blessing and a curse. But mainly a blessing). I used one of these a lot when we did work on my cottage a while ago. It works like a charm. I pulled nails out of old deck boards with the greatest of ease. And it only took off one of my fingernails.

Bringing it back around: I think we finally got Charlie in a bath mid-afternoon on the third day. The tub water was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli.

Dianna got Charlie a seedling potting kit plant thing. So she spent some time trying to get potting soil in the mini pot. Some even got in there, too. Eventually.

We can now say to Charlie, "Smile like Henry" and she does this. I tell you, she's making faces at a forth grade level. We're very proud.

Reading with mama.

And here's a cute picture of my sister and her dog. Just between you and me? That dog is just a few minutes away from one hell of a wake up call.

Previous 20

whendidigrowup

When Did I Grow Up?

Advertisement

Advertisement